Charappoko!
by Crazy Sunshine Hikaru
Summary: A mass crossover of basically every anime that I know of. Characters that I choose and make up, this involves twisting the DBZ plot a bit, are teachers and students at an academy in Osaka. This'll be fun...Review!
1. First Hour Calculus

**Charappoko! (No Sweat!)**

**Chapter 1: First Hour Calculus **

a/n: I added random last names to the characters who have none. And there are some of my original characters scattered about that you might see in later fics

The anime/manga that will be included, but aren't limited to are Gundam Seed, Dragonball Z, Trigun, Inuyasha, Case Closed, Rurouni Kenshin, Rave Master, Whistle,and Yuyu Hakusho. There might be more, but I'm not sure at this point.

It was about 9:00 AM in Osaka, Japan. At Anya Bronson Academy, a very interesting group of students are in their first hour class, calculus. And their teacher was late. Not a good way to start off the beginning of the year. So the class took this as an opportunity to catch up on some sleep, gossip, beat each other up, practice their singing and dancing, flirt with each other, and so on and so forth. But that didn't last for long.

The teacher, who surprised most of the boys, walked into the room with a very calm demeanor, but she gave a severe look to the males occupying the room that were staring at her. You'll find out shortly why they were acting the way they were, if you haven't already guessed.

The teacher, Miss Murrue Ramius, was wearing a short, pleated skirt, a white button-up blouse that wasn't buttoned with a black spaghetti-strap shirt underneath it. Most of the guys would swear she's trying to seduce them, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Murrue slammed her books onto her desk and said very loudly and clearly,"This is calculus class. My name as far as you are concerned is Miss Ramius. No other name will be tolerated in here. You will listen to what I am teaching you in here. If you need help you will ask me. You will not socialize in here. This isn't studyhall. If you object in any way you will leave this room immediately. Is that clear?"

Everyone in the room nodded silently. Who would've thunk that she could intimidate this many people with eight sentences. Especially when she was joking.

"Relax! I'm not that mean!" Murrue said with a schoolgirl giggle. "But you will not stare at me like that!" she snapped, particularly at a student in the third row.

This student just happened to be Miroku Miyazaki. He's a twisted young man with dirty thoughts. He's probably been that way since he was a very little kid. And he probably grew up around perverts, which would explain a lot of things. But you never know. Maybe he hung out with Master Roshi?

"First, I will issue out your textbooks and workbooks. I want each of you to write your name in ink in your textbooks. And make sure that I can read it," Murrue instructed while pulling out a giant stack of books. You'd have to be extremely strong to carry that many books at a time.

_Great, _Murrue thought. _I've got another perv for a student. _And that is not a happy thing.

So she spends about ten, fifteen minutes passing out textbooks and whatnot, and gets to know the students. It's a very tiring thing to do. Recording textbook numbers, making sure that everyone has a book, keeping the books with whoever signed the inside cover. It would be enough to make a body's head spin! But enough of the boring stuff! On with the story!

"Class, now that you have your books, turn to page seven," Murrue instructed clearly. She spoke very clearly and taught the lesson pretty well.

_I'm pretty good at teaching, considering this is my first year teaching tenth grade calculus,_ Murrue thought. _It's almost too easy, but it's the beginning of the year. It's bound to get worse. I can see it. _

After the class was turned loose to work on their assignments, everyone started to loosen up. Some started talking casually, others started gossiping about who they thought was the cutest, and then there was the singing. Oh, yes! There were singers amidst. And not only were there singers, but a deity, and the Guide of the River Styx, and demons, geniuses, demon slayers, time travelers, Gundam pilots, soccer stars, street punks, and Saiyans. You heard correctly. Saiyans. The supernatural fighters with monkey tails. Those are the ones. With the huge appetite and a rather foolish mentality. Saiyans. Or Saiya-jins in Japanese. Things were not going to look too good for Murrue. But it doesn't end there! You should see the rest of the faculty! Here's the list:

Vegeta: Janitor

Chi-Chi: Social Worker

Elder Kaede: English/Lit.

Rau Le Creuset: Biology (Man! That will be one screwy biology class!)

Mu La Flaga: Chemistry

Dr. Hibiki: _Principal! _(Do you know what this means?)

Natarle Badgiruel: Vice Principal

Naraku: History

Goku: Martial Arts Coach

Jimmy Kudo: Detective School 101/Soccer Coach

Andrew Bartfeldt: P.E.

Atsuko Urameshi: Home Economics (Do I need to say anything?)

Richard Moore: Social Studies/History

Rachel Moore: Algebra

Meryl Stryfe: Spanish

Milly Thompson: Italian

Vash the Stampede: French

Dr. Gensai: Health

Dr. Agasa: Reading

Bet'cha wonderin' what the teacher's lounge looks like. The open positions are for political science, art, choir director/music, band director and/or music, and assistant janitor. All applications are to be handed to Dr. Hibiki.

Back to the class, the Saiya-jins are Trunks, Goten, Chimes, and Chisame. Goten, Chimes, and Chisame are triplets. You can imagine that kind of labor. I wonder if Chi-Chi had to get a C-section. Hmm. Chimes and Chisame are two of the singers, soccer players, and martial artists as well. Trunks just can't seem to keep the girls off of him! So far there are five trying to bag him, one of them being Chisame.

Then there are the demons, Ryoko, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Kurama, and Hiei. If you don't know four of these people, you can stop reading right now! Ryoko plays soccer and sings. Sesshoumaru is in Japanese fencing and archery. Inuyasha is in soccer and martial arts. Kurama: book club and robotics club.

There are some others but I don't really feel like listing them all right now. It would take forever.

"Okay! Okay! There's no need for the pop songs right this minute!" Murrue said. "And since when were there pop idols in this school?"

"Uh, I think since about eleven years ago," someone said. She was in the very last row. This young lady had really long pink hair and was one of the singers.

"Ah. Lacus Clyne, is it not?" Murrue asked, looking down at her record book.

And Miroku turned around to look at the pop goddess. And the perv just stared. You could tell he was having more dirty thoughts in that one-track mind of his. And he's rewarded with a backhand from Sango Kusanagi.

"Can we please refrain from violence?" Murrue asked impatiently.

"Miyazaki! You had better keep your hands off of her!" Kira yelled from the other end of the room.

"Hey! Poin Dexter! (sp?) Whatever happened between you and Allster?" retorted some random kid from the third row.

"Like the player gives!" was what came from someone else.

"SILENCE!" Murrue yelled. "That's enough! No more talking for the rest of the class period! Get back to work or it's double homework!"

The class heeded her warning and quickly got back to their work. So much for an enjoyable start of the year. Already she was counting down the days until school let out.

_And the sad part is that the majority of these kids are in my studyhall,_ Murrue thought gravely.

That's chapter one. I hope this turns out okay. I need help on who could fill the open teaching positions at the academy. Please give me suggestions. This is just a random fic with a bunch of different miniplots and whatnot. The next chapter will defintely have the biology teacher. Review!


	2. Biology, Second Period

**Chapter 2: Biology, Second Period **

So we take a look at the biology class. Rau Le Creuset is teaching. This will be fun...

"My name is Mr. Creuset. I will be teaching you biology. And the first thing you need to know about biology is that Coordinators reign superior to all other life forms. We will be looking at George Glenn's accomplishments in here," Rau said. As he was speaking, he walked around the front of the classroom in circles, like he was deep in thought.

"That's no fair," Goten piped up. "What about Saiyans? We are far more powerful than any humans. Plus we can transform to a higher, more powerful level of our race."

"Don't be a jerk!" Trunks said. "You're starting to sound like a juvenile version of my dad!"

"What does 'juvenile' mean?" Goten asked stupidly.

"And what about demons?" Ryoko challenged. "Demons are at least as powerful as a Saiyan."

Rau was starting to get annoyed. And he felt his morals being threatened. To counter this, he asked the valedictorian wolf-demon the following.

"And was it not your particular breed of demon that caused the war between demon clans to break out twenty years ago?" The one thing he didn't know was that Ryoko Takeuchi comes prepared.

"And was it not the existence of Coordinators that brought about the more recent war fought?" Ryoko sat there with a powerful air about her. She wasn't taking jack.

Rau stood there, stupified. He was just roasted by what he considered an inferior being. As it says above, this will be fun.

"Okay. Moving on to other matters. Why is it important to learn about biology?"

Some kid in the back row decided to be a smart-ass and say, "For punishment and to pay your sorry ass!"

"Very funny, Mister, uh, Urameshi." Rau looked up to see the street punk sitting with his chair tilting back at a very dangerous angle and his feet on the desk.

Stifled giggles rose in the room, and Yusuke got more and more bold.

"And what's with that mask? You look like a circus freak! Why don't you try showing your face for once?"

This triggered stupid rumors like 'a wild dog attacked him and permanently scarred his face' and 'some madman gouged his eyes out and that mask is the only way he can see'. What the hell! He's probably more likely to be attacked by a dog _now_ because of that mask, and what the flip would even a _madman_ be doing gouging someone's eyes out, smart?

"You will NOT insult my mask, Yusuke Urameshi!" Rau shouted.

The class fell silent. If there's one thing you don't mess with, it's Rau Le Creuset's mask. The mask was given to him when he was a little kid by a young woman he had the hots for, and I do mean he had the hots for her. He was so obsessed with her he vowed never to take it off again, and so far he's succeeded. It's always kept his memory of her, especially since right before he graduated high school, the woman died in a freak accident involving an electrical storm. You'd almost feel sorry for the guy, but you have to remember that we're talking about Rau Le Creuset here. We have to put high standards on him and belittle what emotions he has. It's fun!

"Yusuke, that was uncalled for!" Keiko said out of nowhere. "You really must learn how to consider others' feelings."

"It's a little late for that, Miss Yukimura!" Rau shouted. He was now sitting in the middle of the floor, sucking his thumb with tears running down his cheeks.

Now everyone was really freaking out. They didn't know what happened to their usually condescending biology teacher. He get's really moody. First, he's very proud of himself. Then he kinda reminds you of Mu La Flaga when he responds to Yusuke's first comment. Next, he's a military officer. Now, he's a first grader trapped in a biology teacher's body, and these kids don't know what to do with him. Who hires these teachers?

That's chapter 2, peoples! And I want more reviews! Tell a friend! Put out flyers! Anything! I only got one review! One! TT The quicker you review the faster I get to work on the next chapter. And please give me some ideas on who can be teachers. I'm desperate.


	3. Who Says 'Ye' These Days?

**Chapter 3: Who Says 'Ye' These Days?**

I was arguing with myself over what to do for this chappie. I hope you like.

The next class we look at is English/Lit class. For those with short, short memory spans that don't remember too much from chapter 1, this class is taught by High Priestess Kaede. That's how you _know_ things are gonna go wrong.

Kaede walked into the room and nearly had a heart attack. Goten was on Kaede's desk, screaming and pointing at a box of chicken wings. The rest of the class was staring at him as if he were a kangaroo in the middle of Madison Square Garden. There was smoke coming from what was left of the desks around the one where the box stood. Flay Allster was petrified at the blasts that had emitted from Goten's palms and was hainging from the ceiling fan for dear life.

"What has gotten into ye?" Kaede shouted, supporting herself with the doorframe. "Why are ye doing the cancan on my desk? Get off of there!"

"You need to send him to the happy hotel!" Flay shouted.

Kaede glared at Flay.

"And how did _ye_ end up there?"

Kurama shook his head and said, "She doesn't understand the power of Saiyans. And it intimidated her. She jumped out of her skin, practically, in fright and managed to grab hold of the ceiling fan before gravity took effect."

"In half the syllables, Kurama!" Goten said, still hopping like there were ants in his pants.

"You scared the heck out of her," Kurama said simply.

"And why are ye _still _on my desk when I've already told you to get down from there?" Kaede inquired.

"I can't!"

"And why in the name of Buddha not?"

"The chicken is haunted!"

Kaede was really pissed now.

"Young man, I am very well familiar with sorcery and subjects related to it. So believe me when I say ye need not be afraid of a simple box of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It has not been tampered with."

"It clucked and said 'Howdy doo!' to me! What the hell do you think that's about?" Goten asked.

"I'd say ye are delusional. Now stop this nonsense and get off my desk!" Kaede commanded.

"You guys can't say you didn't hear that box of chicken wings speak!" Goten said, looking at his classmates for support.

"You're delusional," Kurama said blankly.

"Will somebody get me DOWN?" Flay shouted..

"Jump and I'll catch ya!" Miroku said, standing up.

"NO!" the class shouted, leaving Kaede baffled for a minute.

"Kurama, will you go get Vegeta? We need to get this young lady down," Kaede said, reaching into her desk drawer for some aspirin.

Before Kaede had finished her sentence, Kurama had left the room in search of Vegeta the janitor and came back thirty seconds later with Vegeta and a ladder.

"Happens every year," Vegeta grumbled. "Someone always has to get stuck on a ceiling fan. And for some reason it's always someone from your third hour class. Pisses me off."

The only reason why Vegeta is using a ladder is because Kurama warned him about Flay's phobia of Saiyan powers. As soon as Flay was on solid ground she balled up and started sucking her thumb.

"Deja vu," Goten said, scratching his head.

"Technically, this wouldn't be deja vu," Kurama said to no one in particular.

Goten started to show his juvenile hall side (which is odd because he hasn't been to prison in this fic.).

"So what? Ya wanna make something of it?" Goten challenged.

"Why don't ye shut up!" Kaede said this as a command rather than a question.

Kaede pushed Goten off her desk and sat down to take attendance.

"Botan Kashiwabara." (A/n: This isn't Botan from Yuyu Hakusho. This is just a character of mine. Steal and die.)

Botan raised her hand.

"Sho Kazamatsuri."

Sho raised his hand in confirmation.

"Tatsuya Mizuno."

The same.

"Yusuke Morinaga."

He was present.

"Goten Matsumoto."

Goten stood up from his landing place on the floor. He was about ready to shoot the chicken with a Kamehameha wave, but thought better of it. Surprisingly, he thought that one through.

"Haru Glory."

"Present," Haru said lazily. He was trying to block out Kaede's -and the other's- voices. He wasn't too happy with the class so far.

"Miroku Miyazaki."

Miroku stood and sat down again.

"Shuichi Minamino."

Kurama raised his hand.

"I thought your name was Kurama," Kaede said.

"It is, but most humans know me as Shuichi," Kurama replied.

Then Kaede goes through the names of the unimportant people and went on to the boring stuff like what was going to be done in the class and whatnot. And then she sent Goten to Chi-Chi's office. (Just so's ya know, Chi-Chi is the counselor in case you forgot.)

That's chapter #3! This one had fun writing this chapter. This one hopes that this chapter is a little more comedic. This one has been trying hard to base this off of mayhem, that I have. Enjoy! This one insists.


	4. Buu's Cooking

Howdy! Before we start today's chapter of Charappoko, I would like to give many thanks to Unkown-Character for giving me this idea! Muchos Gracias! (sp?) On with the chapter! And one more thing: I got "Chickenball Z" from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.

**Chapter 4: Buu's Cooking**

It's now the staff's, and the student's, favorite time of the day, lunch. (Even though not all of the tenth graders have the same lunch period, oh well!) The students are all accepting their trays of what looks like meatloaf. Unfortunately, this is Goten's lunch period, so things are bound to go wrong.

"Goten, are you sure you can handle this?" Trunks asked Goten teasingly. "'Cause I heard that you caused a lot of trouble last hour about a talking box of KFC."

"Shut up!" Goten said. "You're starting to sound like me, juvenile."

"You don't even know what juvenile means!" Trunks pointed out.

"So?"

The boys took their trays and sat down at an empty table. And as soon as Goten studied his meal very closely, he started to freak out.

"Well, darn-howdy!" the meatloaf declared. "You look like one o dem Saiya-whatchamacallits from, aw, hell, what was it? Oh, yeah! Chickenball Z!"

"It's Dragonball Z!" Goten shouted at the inanimate meat.

"Who are you talking to?" Trunks asked, utterly confused. "Why are you shouting at the meatloaf?"

"It said that I was from Chickenball Z!" Goten whined. "And all that was was a rip-off of our show!"

"Could y'all show me how to do one of dem fancy light tricks y'all do on TV?" the pile of beef asked. "'Cause that way I can keep my wife offa my back about being lazy, which don't make sense seeing as I's just a mound of ground cow meat cooked for y'all to eat."

"They aren't light tricks! They're actually ki blasts!" Goten corrected angrily. "Wait. What? A bit of ground beef actually watches television? Buu! What the hell do you think you're trying to feed me?"

The cafeteria fell silent when Goten stormed up to the counter where Buu was just serving Creuset his lunch in his SSJ 3 form. Trunks just shook his head in shame and disappointment.

"Me no know what you talk about," Buu said in his usual, high voice.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, you big, pink...BLOB!" Goten shouted. He looked like he was ready to kill.

"Me stand corrected," Buu said. "You no know what you talk about."

Nothing but silence filled the room as Goten and Buu had an all out stare war and Creuset waited impatiently for his lunch. A cold breeze blew through the cafeteria as that old western shootout music started playing. Goten positioned himself so that he'd be ready to pounce on Buu while his counterpart slid his mitten-covered hands over ketchup and mustard bottles strapped onto his belt. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife until...

"Who's doing all that whistling?" Rau demanded.

"Loosen up, old man!" Yusuke snorted. "Just thought I'd add to the mood. God!"

At precisely the moment that Yusuke said 'God', Goten attacked, throwing a flurry of punches at Buu. Buu dodged and blocked every single punch, and the fight was on. Creuset just sighed and went to Wendy's for lunch. Trunks watched all of this and sweatdropped with the rest of the students.

"Hold it. Shouldn't the principal have come in here already to fire Buu and send Goten to Chi-Chi's office?" Trunks mused aloud.

In the principal's office, Dr. Hibiki was leaning over the body of the former political science teacher with all kinds of sciency and medical equipment for some unknown reason. And quite frankly, I don't think you'd want to know. Natarle walked in, surprised at what she saw and almost sick to her stomach from the smell of the corpse.

"Miss Badgiruel!" Hibiki said out of surprise. "What brings you here?" He laughed nervously.

"A fight has broken out in the cafeteria," Natarle stated. "Is that the political science teacher's body?"

"Never mind that!" Dr. Hibiki snapped. "I'm busy here! You go down there and take care of it yourself, if you will."

Natarle gave him a quizzical look and left the room before she blew chunks.

_Damn it all to hell!_ Natarle thought bitterly. _Of all the things I had to do, it had to be vice principal at this school. What the hell was I thinking? The principal does experiments with the teachers' bodies, the biology teacher is damn near insane, we have demons and aliens as teachers, and Atsuko and Chi-Chi aren't helping very much. And I actually thought for a minute that Hibiki was kinda cute. Now he's just scary. Plus I do all his work while he wastes time. I am a damn fool. I'm the one that should be principal, not him! Gotta find a way to get him out of this school. And maybe I could get Chi-Chi to teach political science and Atsuko to be th counselor. That would be fun! _And yes, Natarle's thoughts ended on a happy note. Maybe Atsuko could slap those silly hallucinations out of Goten's head because Chi-Chi hasn't done a damn thing with him.

Natarle walked down the halls with these thoughts circling in her head. She reached the cafeteria in a little of no time and nearly had a heart attack at the sight. Goten and Buu were still duking it out like professional boxers, most of the students were cheering for Buu, and Trunks was trying to stop the fight with very little success. There was only one solution to this problem that actually works, and it does for almost any problem: a crowbar. And Natarle knew just what to do.

Natarle ran into Vegeta's office, which was empty of any life, and found a crowbar. She then sprinted back to the cafeteria, snuck up behind the three sided battle, and knocked the heck out of these three. She then went to Dr. Hibiki's office with the crowbar and showed him what for.

That is chapter four, peoples. I hope you like it. And thank you again for the idea, Unkown-Character! Greatly appreciated!


	5. Chemistry Killed the Girl s?

**Chapter 5: Chemistry Killed the Girl(s)? **

I hope this chapter comes out well. I didn't really know how to make Mu La Flaga's class chaotic, but I tried, dammit! Enjoy.

Mu La Flaga strolled into the classroom with a laid back smile and if you looked closely enough, you could see smudged lipstick on his neck. But nobody bothered to notice. The class was in disarray. Desks were upturned, there were busted pipes gushing water sticking out of the ceiling, graffiti covered the walls, Kuroneko-sama was stuck under a pile of wooden boards, and just about every student was knocked out except for three: Flay, who was hiding underneath Mu's desk, Elie, who was standing on top of a desk with her blaster-thingies in her hands, and Kenshin, only except he was just about knocked out and had about fifty bruises on his body. Mu was in shock. Apparently, Elie went on another one of her blasting sprees.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CLASSROOM?" Mu shouted.

Elie looked around her, and a look of sheer and utter perplexion crossed her face. She had no clue as to what happened, and didn't know why La Flaga was yelling. Silly girl.

"Uh, are you the chemistry teacher?" Elie asked.

Mu was about ready to have a stroke. What the heck was wrong with this girl?

"Yes, I am the chemistry teacher," Mu said through gritted teeth.

"Do you know what happened to the classroom?" Elie asked stupidly.

"I would like to know," Mu responded grumpily.

"Elie. Evil. Mommy..." Flay muttered. She started crying.

"Damn," Mu said to no one in particular. "Ever since the nurse split town last month."

"You mean to tell me that there's no school nurse?" Kenshin yelled in disbelief. "She nearly decimated all of us!"

"Damn you, Hibiki! This better not be coming out of my goddamn paycheck! And you still haven't gotten a new nurse! You'll be hearing from my lawyer! I swear it on Buddha!" Mu continued this for about five minutes. That was when Elie continued investigating the situation at hand.

"So, why did the nurse leave?" Elie questioned.

"Because of people like Goten Matsumoto and Sesshoumaru Yamamoto, I'd guess," Mu answered, shrugging.

"Why does my head hurt?" Elie asked out of the blue.

"I dunno, Elie," Mu said sarcastically. "Enlighten me."

"If I knew that, I wouldn't have asked you!" Elie shouted, about ready to shoot another round.

"I WANT MY MOMMY!" Flay wailed.

"SHADDUP!" Elie screamed. This just caused Flay to cry some more.

After that little episode, ten minutes of silence passed before the rest of the class woke up. When that happened, Mu got to teaching. Three minutes into the lesson Elie was lost.

Elie raised her hand and said, "Mr. La Flaga, I don't understand any of this." And this wasn't just a one time occurance. Elie had to raise her hand several times. And several times Mu was about ready to kill both himself and Elie.

"Um, Mr. La Flaga, what's combustion again?" Elie asked with her hand in the air. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!" Mu yelled, pulling his hair out. He busted out a shotgun and chased Elie through the entire high school department of the campus. Flay let out a high pitched scream and went off the perverbial edge, bringing Kenshin with her. After that, Elie never asked another question in Mu La Flaga's chemistry class ever again.

Chapter 5 for ya. Quite personally, I think that it came out pretty entertaining. But lemme know if it isn't. I just love picking on Flay, don't I? I hate her! She must die! Arigato for reading and please review! Ja ne!


	6. Everything I Need To Know

**Chapter 6: Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Atsuko**

I felt like making Atsuko out of character. I wanted to see what she was like when she's sober or something like it.

It's time to have a little more fun. Who better to learn the basics of life from than the ever famous Atsuko Urameshi. She's done it all. Partying, raising Yusuke by herself, having little or no conscience. If you have any questions, she's the one to ask. You'll understand what I mean momentarily...

Normally, you'd think that this particular lush would stagger into the classroom with a beer bottle in one hand and a party popper in the other hand. But not this time. Atsuko was ready to teach, and party poppers are Yuko Katori's specialty.

Miss Urameshi stood at the front of the room in a formal pose, looking very professional. She studied each and every student before starting her speech.

"There are very basic things you need to know about life," Atsuko started. "And these basic things are how to keep food on the table, when to party, and how to keep from ending up with unwanted house mates. In here, you will learn how to party."

Not too many understood the last bit of that sentence, seeing as how most anime characters aren't the brightest light on the Christmas tree.

Everyone was frozen with fright, and it wasn't the kind of fright that Murrue was able to deliver. It was more of a surprising fright than intimidating. I mean, we all thought that she would be drunk as a skunk, and I would have thought so, too.

"Moving on, I feel it's time to get into some detail and start off fun," Atsuko stated. "We'll learn more about when to party. You! The blonde girl. Come up to the front of the class."

The blonde girl, Cagalli, did as she was told and went to the front reluctantly. She knew Atsuko, and that she wouldn't be this serious about teaching a room full of sixteen year olds how to party. She also knew that getting this woman to call her Cagalli wouldn't work.

Atsuko went behind her desk and bent down to pull out several bottles of liquor, and yes, this is how you spell liquor. It's not 'likar', el muy stupido uno.

"Which do you believe, out of this selection, is the best kind of liquor to get a party started?" Atsuko inquired.

Cagalli examined each bottle before saying, "Um, Jack Daniels?" pointing at that very bottle.

"Very good," Atsuko started. "But for what kind of party?"

"Uh, I guess for parties of the year."

Atsuko looked really hard at Cagalli before shrugging and saying, "Works for me. In general, what is the best drink for a birthday party?"

"Sake."

"Graduations?"

"Corona."

"New Years?"

"Russian River Valley Champagne."

"Christmas?

"Mouton Cadet."

"Easter?"

"Cognac."

"And how did you know that?"

"That's typically what you drink at brunch."

"Thanksgiving?"

"Brandy."

The rest of the class looked at Cagalli like she was an alien. Who knew that an Orb child knew so much about party drinks? She even know's more about it than Atsuko Urameshi, the Party Animal of Japan.

"W-well," Atsuko stuttered. "Who taught you so much about alcohol?"

"I'm the daughter of the Prime Minister of Orb," Cagalli replied simply.

While Atsuko just stared at her student, stunned beyond belief, a young boy was muttering to himself.

"Well, lets see here. I could auction Sango's Hello Kitty panties starting a fifty bucks on eBay, and then we have the naked pictures of Flay. I could use those to blackmail her into going out with me for a month, being able to have my way with her. And then maybe I could get a hold on her panties, auctioning them off at seventy bucks. There's no reason why I can't get a high price for those babies since she posted those photos on the net, and quite a few hackers must have seen them. It's all good. I'll be rolling in the dough." The boy, Miroku, if you haven't already guessed, (in which case dammit, this ain't for you) snickered, plotting his dirty moneymaking plans. Too bad he didn't notice the silence of the room. Every word was heard.

Cagalli instantly stormed over to where Master Roshi's rival was sitting, ready to pound his face in.

"So!" Cagalli shouted. "I'm only going to _assume_ that you're the one who stole my favorite Tweety Bird panties last year!"

Whilst Miroku cringed under Cagalli, about to face the wrath of the young girl who had gone Seed mode, many of the other males occupying the room had nosebleeds, their heads filled with views of the otherwise tomboyish blonde about to commit a ghastly homicide in very revealing lingerie. And that _is_ how you spell lingerie, baka roba. (A/N: I'm pretty sure 'roba' means ass in Japanese, correct me if I'm wrong.)

Thinking quick, trying to save Miroku a great deal of pain and her so far best student Cagalli from time in the slammer, she jumped on top of her desk yelling, "Let's get this party started!" She then threw random bottles of vodka and courvossier and sake and all kinds of other drinks to random students. Luckily, Miroku caught a bottle of Vodka coming right at him.

"Sorry, Cagalli," Miroku said, aiming the bottle towards her mouth. "But this is the only way I can keep my life without hurting you, getting you drunk." He then popped the bottle and poured it's contents, no, sloshed it's contents into Cagalli's mouth.

Cagalli stood frozen to the spot with a glazed look on her face before she started giggling and hiccuping. We just have to move into her point of view! You'll love this!

Cagalli's P.O.V.

Right before I was about to start choking the living shit out of Miroku, he splashed this weird tasting drink, I think it was vodka, into my mouth. I swallowed a lot of it and now everything looks funny. All the colors of the room started swirling like tye-dye, and for some reason I started giggling. I don't know at what, but I was giggling madly the way Lacus does whenever my idiotic brother makes a fool of himself in front of her.

"Heh, heh, heh. Little boy blue. He needed the money," I said, staggering across the room.

"Cagalli?" a faraway voice called to me. "Cagalli, are you okay? What happened?"

So I answered the voice, "It all began when my mommy dropped me on my head."

Third person P.O.V.

The person who asked Cagalli what happened was none other than Kira, who was there only because he was playing delivery boy. Cagalli's irregular, I guess you could say, behavior scared him to no end, so he very stealthily slid the message he was to deliver onto Atsuko's desk and left the room slowly and quietly without making any sudden moves until he closed the door. Then he sprinted back to his class as if his life depended on it at that point.

Me: That's chapter six.

Hikaru: We wanted to go on longer but we really need to work on the next chapter.

Me: But don't worry. The next chapter will definitely be funny. It's Murrue's studyhall.

Hikaru: Until then, read, review, enjoy, and ideas & suggestions are always welcome.

Me: Most importantly, review! And one more thing, I know so much about alcoholic drinks from my dad.


	7. Studyhall is for Studying

A/N: Chapter 1 will be referred to a lot in this chapter. I suggest you reread chapter 1 before you read this one. It'll make a lot more sense that way. (Unknown Character- My muses appreciate the greeting! )

**Chapter 7: Studyhall was Meant for Studying**

Murrue sat at her desk, trying to block the voices of her homeroom out. If you recall the first chapter, your questions will be answered. Now, pay attention! This is very important!

We'll focus on two characters that never really got any recognition too much, Chimes and Chisame. For some reason they were playing rock, paper, scissors.

"Hah!" Chimes shouted with satisfaction. "That's three times you lost now! You have to pick up the dry cleaning after school today!"

"That's no fair!" Chisame objected. "You got Sara Serenity to predict those moves for you, didn't you?"

"Now, would I do that?" Chimes asked skeptically. "Even if I tried that, Sara Serenity would never agree to do that. She's a deity, not Kame-Sen'nin's sister." (A/N: Kame-Sen'nin is the original Japanese name for Master Roshi.)

"Unless you were able to bribe Uranai Baba into it," Chisame pointed out.

"It wouldn't work with her, either," Chimes replied casually. "You can't bribe that old hag. Believe me. I've had first hand experience."

"How?"

Chimes sighed and told the story.

"Remember when I had that pet frog, Midori? Well, after we had to bury him, I tried asking Uranai Baba if she could find a way to bring him back, since it seemed like a petty wish to waste Shenron's time with. She was cold as the blizzard we had that year. She would not be convinced into bringing Midori-chan back."

Chisame just shook her head.

The room went silent when a drunken Cagalli staggered into the room with a note pinned to the collar of her uniform. Murrue took notice to this and went up to where Cagalli tottered dangerously and read the note.

_Cagalli Attha is excused._

_Atsuko Urameshi_

Murrue sweatdropped and said, "What happened?"

A certain redhead demon piped up, "It looks like she's wasted."

Cagalli chuckled stupidly and said, "Heh, you're kinda cute."

This time it was Kurama's turn to sweatdrop as he said, "I get that a lot. What class were you in last hour?"

Surprisingly, Cagalli was able to answer home economics something of competently.

"That explains a lot," Murrue said, putting a cold, wet washcloth to her head. "Why does she always these students drunk? They're hard enough to handle as it is!" And then she started crying in Spanish.

"If that's the case, I'll be right back," Kurama said. And when he said he'll be right back he meant it. He quick ran out of the classroom and was right back with a potion whipped up by Lady Kaede.

"Here, Cagalli," Kurama said, handing her the flask. "Drink this."

"Why?" Cagalli asked.

"I want to see if I did well in mixing this drink."

"Why don't you ask Atsuko?"

"It's not that kind of drink."

"Is it yummy?"

"It's supposed to be."

"Then why don't you drink it yourself?"

"Because I want to get other people's opinions first."

"Why?"

"You sure do ask a lot of questions," Kurama said, which was only part of the sentence. The rest of it was "when you're drunk".

"What's MC Hammer's real name?"

"I don't know!"

"Just drink the damn thing already!" Murrue shouted.

Cagalli let out a little yelp and backed the potion like it was the last drink she was ever going to have.

Kurama and Murrue stared intently as Cagalli swallowed the liquid, hoping with all their might that their old friend Kaede had come through for them. And she must've, because Cagalli wasn't swaying or giggling stupidly anymore.

"What happened?" Cagalli asked, looking at her surroundings, obviously confused. "Why is there a note pinned to my collar? And why do I smell like vodka?"

"It all started when your mommy dropped you on your head," Kira said sarcastically. He was sitting near the back of the classroom and was more fascinated then scared by his sister now.

The blessed bit of silence that followed was shattered by someone's scream. And then he appeared. To Chisame there was no one else in the world who was as handsome as him. What woman wouldn't want a guy with purple hair, blue eyes, and incredible martial arts skills?

As soon as Trunks appeared in the door, trying to catch his breath, a harem of girls showed up behind him, all of them interested in Trunks as a boyfriend. That ruined Chisame's day.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Stay away from me!" Trunks shrieked, hiding behind Murrue's desk.

"Hey!" Murrue shouted. "Get out of there!"

"NO!" Trunks shouted back. "Not until they go away!"

By they, he meant the girls by the door, (all of which are my original characters. Steal and die) Kaede Kirigoe, Rie Ishikawa, Kaede Suzuki, and Narue Kamiyama. Kirigoe sings, Ishikawa is a photographer, Suzuki fights, and Kamiyama is a female version of Sherlock Holmes. And don't think that aside from Kaede Suzuki, the others are snotty and prissy. They _all_ can fight.

The first one to separate from the group was Kirigoe. She walked over to where Trunks took refuge and yanked him by the arm so that he was in full view. I'm serious when I say Trunks looked like he was about to burst in tears. So, Chisame did what any other annoyed person would do. She stood up to put a stop to this nonsense.

"Why don't you leave poor Trunks alone?" Chisame asked, standing between Kirigoe and Trunks.

"Why do you care?" Kaede challenged. "This isn't any of your business and you never seemed to even take notice of him before. In fact, you treat him like a source of stress relief."

"Which couldn't be farther from the truth," Chimes piped in.

"Really? Then enlighten me. What is your real relationship with him?"

Chisame shook her head once more and answered, "He's a friend of the family. Even if it seems like I tease him it's only because we're fooling around. That's what friends do. And since he's a friend I can't let him be chased around like this 24/7. He is a fellow Saiyan, after all."

Stunned. Kaede was nothing but stunned. And that was the first thing she ever learned in tenth grade: Never mess with a Saiyan.

Me: I wanted to add more to this but I was stuck. spaces out I love harem comedies.

Hikaru: But we had fun reading it over, though it didn't refer to Chapter 1 as much as we wanted it to.

Me: snaps back to reality Oh, well. It'd be really appreciated if we could get more reviews.

Hikaru: Yeah, this is getting harder and harder to write. Suggestions are always welcome.

Me: If you don't I just might send my army of rattle snakes after you. If they would ever wake up on command. shifty eyes

Hikaru: Just review. We're still figuring out what would be good for the next chapter, looks at desk calendar P.E.!

Me: Remember, I have snakes! And flying monkeys! laughs evilly

Hikaru: Never mind her. pushes me away Just leave a review when you're finished. disappears in smoke, dragging me by the collar


	8. He Hurt Himself

**Chapter 8: He Hurt Himself**

Hikaru: Super happy funtime!

Me: That was chapter six.

Hikaru: Really? Why didn't you tell me? You know I've been wanting to say that before a chapter forever!

Me: You didn't get the memo I gave you? Anyway, you didn't show up until after Cagalli recited those alcoholic drinks, so it was too late. Why didn't you say it last chapter?

Hikaru: I thought it was supposed to be this chapter. -bows head dejectedly-

Me: Damn! It would've worked for last chapter, too. Oh, well! It's time for chapter eight! Sorry for the hiatus. I just wasn't feeling it.-shakes head in disappointment- Enough of the small talk! It's time for the story!

As usual, we have another class to deal with. This one is PE. And, as usual, Mistah Bartfeldt will have his work cut out for him.

Andrew met the group of rambunctious adolescents outside. And this class didn't look like fun to teach. If Lacus Clyne and Flay Allster are in the same class, you can expect all hell to break loose.

"Bitch!"

"Slut!"

"Whore!"

"White trash!"

No one ever would've thunk that Lacus would say such dirty words. But, considering she's arguing with Flay and she has the upper hand by popularity, we can forgive her.

"What the hell is going on here?" Andrew asked, obviously oblivious to the age old rivalry.

Lacus, who had gone Seed mode, faced Mr. Bartfeldt and said, "This wench is trying to say that -"

Flay cut her off.

"She refuses to accept the fact that Kira loves me more than her!" Flay quickly answered while covering Lacus's mouth.

Lacus pulled Flay's hand away from her mouth and said, "That's a lie! She refuses to believe that Kira's gotten over her!" And the two started calling each other even more obscene names, which I'm not going to mention due to the fact that little kids might be reading this.

Andrew slapped his forehead and looked up to the sky asking, "Dear God, do I really have to settle this conflict?"

"No. You don't."

Was this really God who answered him? Did I really turn away the religious rambling that my grandma feeds me every time I visit her for nothing? No. It wasn't God who answered. It was Goten.

"And what do you have in mind, Mister Matsumoto?" Andrew asked warily.

"A martial arts match."

"What?"

"You heard me! A martial arts match. Lacus and Flay can fight each other and the winner gets Kira."

"Why are you suggesting this when it's supposed to be Miroku's job?"

Andrew did get his answer, but it wasn't from Goten. Because Chisame had whacked him over the head with a baseball bat.

"That should shut him up," she sighed, dusting her hands off on her shorts. "Don't mind him. He's the type that tends to like girl on girl action. Damn, I'm surrounded by perverts." She pushed away Miroku, who was trying to look up her shorts.

Out of nowhere, a blast was heard from one of the classrooms. Chimes could be seen flying from the totaled classroom with Vegeta hot on her tail carrying a wrench. Right behind Vegeta was Kira in the Strike. Right behind him was Athrun in _his_ mobile suit, the Aegis. Then Cagalli in the Strike Rouge. Natarle was jumping up and down, yelling "Wait! Don't leave! Take me with you!".

"Great," Chisame said deflated. "The so called 'Crazy Sunshine' of the group has caused a mobile suit conga line and Vegeta to chase after her with a wrench. And what's Natarle yelling about? I'm the one that's dying of embarrassment."

"Get back here, you!" Vegeta shouted, brandishing the wrench while catching up to Chimes. "God. Kakarrot's child!"

"I resent that remark!" Chimes and Chisame shouted in unison.

"Has anyone noticed that we've moved the attention from the most awesome fight between thehottest Gundam Seed females ever?" Miroku asked.

"Shut up," Chisame said. "Everyone knows that Lacus is obviously more widely loved by the population of Gundam Seed fans, or Gundam fans in general. Because Flay is, in most people's eyes, a crazy bitch."

Random DJ starts playing the 'crazy bitch' song that you hear on Kiss FM.

"Like the song says," Chimes continued. "She's a crazy bitch."

Me: I guess the super happy funtime thing works for this chapter, after all.

Hikaru: Yay!

Me: --; Whatever. The next chapter will be a continuation of this one, I think. So until then, keep those reviews coming.

Hikaru: Super Happy Funtime!


	9. He Hurt Himself, Part Two

Me: Might we please get some more reviews? Are you peoples losing interest? Is there something fatally wrong with my story? What the hell is going on?

Hikaru: Seriously. What is going on? We were sitting here for weeks waiting for a review for the last chapter! Well, anyway, here's the continuation of last chapter. And we want some freaking reviews this time!

**Chapter 8, Part 2: He Hurt Himself**

Yes, yes, it's time for more. Vegeta is still chasing Chimes, wanting revenge on _something_, Kira, Athrun, and Cagalli are _still_ chasing after Vegeta, Lacus and Flay are _still_ arguing, Goten's _still _unconscious, and poor Andy doesn't know _exactly_ what he's gotten himself into.

"You're going to pay for planting that stink bomb in the science lab!"

"Which science lab?" Chimes confusedly asked her Saiyan pursuer.

"The one in the sixth grade department!"

"That wasn't me. _That _was Naruto."

Silence...and Naruto's snickering. And three of the four coordinators swearing at the stupidity of this. They went through all the trouble of suiting up for nothing.

"I know I probably shouldn't ask, but what exactly _did_ you do?" Chisame asked her delinquent sister.

"Oh. Nothing." Chimes's face went red slightly.

Vegeta tossed his wrench out of frustration, which was aimed at Chimes. However, Chimes, being the agile young lady she is, dodged said wrench, which in turn hit Goten, who had just sat up, shaking his head from the blow that Chisame had delivered.

"But mommy. I don't want to go to school today. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you," Goten muttered stupidly as he slid into unconsciousness once more.

"The stupid thing is that he actually said that this morning," Chisame said to no one in particular.

And since nothing was happening, the bell rang, signaling the next class: Political Science.

Kakashi Hatake walked through the door of the classroom, late as always, and knew immediately that this class would be a lot of fun. Especially after he saw these special people: Chimes, Goten, and Ryoko, but before he could even open his mouth to say anything, Sasuke Uchiha was seen running past him at breakneck speed. Following the black-haired, usually silent genius screaming at the top of his lungs were several girls including Ino and Sakura. Complete with heart-shaped eyes.

"Oooookaaay," Kakashi said slowly. "That was weird. Anyway, my name is Mr. Hatake. And this is..." He looked down at the record book to figure out what the hell he was teaching. "Political science."

Some of the students fidgeted a little, but Kakashi didn't notice. He just opened his mouth to continue the introductions but was rudely interrupted...by Maito Gai.

"This is a disgrace!" Maito shouted. "Did you see that? Why isn't there a sign here that says 'Sasuke x'ing'? You're a disgrace as a teacher..."

Maito-san continued this ranting for a bit (talk about long winded), while everyone else sweat dropped. And while Goten listened to 'Carnival' by The Pillows.

When Maito finished his speech, all poor Kakashi could do was look up at him and say, "Can you stop doing that? I've heard the same speech fifty million times and counting already." He noticed Goten listening to his CD player. "And you. Put away the Discman."

"Yeah, Goten," Chimes said, smacking her brother upside the head.

"Shut up, Chimes!" Goten raised his hand to slap her back.

Kakashi stopped him.

"Okay, two things. Number one, I don't recommend hitting her. She looks tough. Number two, lose the CD player already. You can't have it in school. It's the rules."

"Well, here's what I think of your stupid rules!" Goten shouted. And he tried to rip air. He sat there, struggling for five minutes. After that five minutes, a slightly rumbling sound was heard. And Goten was still as a statue, his face redder than my mosquito bites.

"I gots to go change my pants," Goten muttered as he walked awkwardly out of the room. (Awkward is a bitch of a word to write, ne?)

"Now," Kakashi stated as he took his place at the front of the room. "Before I was so rudely interrupted, may we continue with the class?" He shot Maito a dirty look. (No not the _other_ meaning, JC-san. The kind that shows disgust.)

Ryoko raised her hand shakily.

"Yes, Ms. Takeuchi?"

"May I go see the nurse? The stench in here is killing me." Ryoko's eyes were swirlies.

Ryoko wasn't the only one who was getting sick from the smell. She was just the first one to realize she was too intolerant of it. Several other people were raising their hands too. _Then_ Kakashi realized the foul aftermath of Goten's accident.

"Uhh, yes, you can go to the nurse. And...Chimes! Will you start us off with chapter one of the textbook? I need to take care of...uh...some personal business." And Kakashi got out of the room like there was no tomorrow.

Chimes shook her head, cursing, "It's all fun and games until Goten shits his pants!"


	10. The Man With the Uber Large Eyebrows

**Chapter 10: The Man With the Uber Large Eyebrows**

Tis time to meet yet another class with another quirky teacher. And boy does this one have his quirks.

"Welcome to art class with your better-than-Kakashi teacher...ME!"

Gai Maito strolled through the door to the art room to meet a very confused class of sixteen year olds. He honestly didn't understand why they were confused, despite the fact that it was so obvious my nephew could figure it out.

Chisame, who was sitting at the back of the room, raised her hand very slowly and asked, "Why are the walls pink?"

Gai was rather offended by Chisame's question and replied with a question of his own, "Is there something wrong with the color pink?"

"Well, no but--"

"Is there something wrong with my liking the color pink?"

"No, but I was--"

"That's what I thought," Maito said, ending the conversation.

Chisame just sat there, dumbstruck.

As Maito introduced himself and explained different projects and whatnot, a certain boy with weird green hair had a hard time getting used to the feminine environment. So much pink and flowers in one place was a rare sight for the pianist/mobile suit pilot.

This one, Nicol, took his turn to raise his hand slowly ask a question.

"Yes?" Maito asked.

"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but why do you keep flowers in the room?"

A small tear started to well up in Maito's left eye. The shine in his eyes became very large and trembled. That small tear became a very large tear and slid down his cheek. Dramatic soap opera music could be heard as this event took place. Maito tried to hold back that scream that was building up in his throat, but his efforts were in vain.

"WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?" Maito sobbed.

The class tilted their head to the side in unison as Maito cried, and cried, and cried, and cried...and cried. And then they turned to glare at Nicol and Chisame.

"What?" Nicol inquired. "What did I do?"

Chisame looked over at Nicol, raised an eyebrow, and said, "I still haven't gotten past the thing about the walls in here. This is way too feminine, even for my taste."

The class didn't lift their glare.

"I didn't do anything!" The pianist was just as distressed as Maito.

"..." Chisame was silent.

After a minute, the students turned back to the front of the room and watched the touchy teacher bawling his eyes out. It was worse than chibi crying. Many were sweat dropping, Nicol and Chisame fell backwards off their chairs. They would've yelped loud in pain for landing on a hard tile floor, if the floor was tile. They found their butts cushioned by a pink shag carpet... The thought that occupied any of the student's minds was "What the hell?".

"Son of a..." Chisame brushed her hand against the thick, soft carpet. "Well, I'll be damned." She picked at a string of the shag. "Why did I not notice this carpeting?" She blinked a few times and turned her head to Nicol. "Please tell me you didn't notice this until now either."

Nicol didn't say anything. His eyes were as wide as tennis balls. He was shaking in fear. This was just really weird and intimidating, more than a battle against the best mobile suit pilot in the universe that dwarfed his skills.

"Uh, Nicol?" Chisame waved her hand in front of Nicol's face to get his attention. "You did hear me, right?"

Nicol paid no attention to Chisame. His eyes were fixed on Maito.

Chisame groaned and slapped Nicol clean across the face. "Snap out of it!"

"H-h-he challenges my femininity..." Nicol looked like he was about to cry. "I didn't think anyone could challenge _my_ femininity..."

"Look, I didn't think anyone could rival Flay's bitchiness until I met Asuka Langely Soriyu. Get over it."

Chisame's words did nothing to console Nicol. Because _he_ had broken into tears as well.

"That's it. I'm outta here," Chimes said as she lifted herself off of the shag-rugged floor and strolled right past Maito, exiting the room. The rest of the room still had "wtf" on their lips whilst the two girly-men bawled their eyes out.

* * *

Me: Yes, I updated, but I feel this chapter is rather meh-ish. Maito isn't exactly a character I'm _that_ familiar with, but from what I've heard about him I felt he was good for the position of art teacher. Anyone who knows a really good deal on Naruto please tell if my portrayal in this parody could've been better. 

Hikaru: Yup, she needs all da help she can get. Meaning youse people might wanna review. An aspiring writer always wants comments on her work, ya know. An an aspiring writer always wants to improve.

Me: Oh, and sorry for the bad hiatus. Been sufffering severe writer's block.


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